Traditionally, wedding speeches were given only by men, usually members of the family and most often fathers of the bride and groom, and were meant to be blessings upon the newly married couple. These blessings were given in a very solemn and serious manner, and were meant as wishes of happiness and fertility.
At some point, it became expected that the best man would always give a speech after the wedding, and then quite a few years later, women joined the speech-giving tradition.
Now days, its not only expected that many or all members of the wedding party will give a speech, but even the bride and groom themselves often feel the need to give speeches at their own weddings. It often seems as if the wedding speech movement has become like a snowball rolling downhill, getting bigger and with more elaborate speeches every few years.
Gone are the days when a short, 30-second welcome to the family and I hope you have many years of happiness and lots of kids speech was delivered by the fathers of the bride and groom. Now, we have the 4-to-7 minute well-rehearsed and even sometimes read-from-a-piece-of-paper speech expected of nearly everyone in the wedding party, including the bride and groom.
Back in the olden days, not only were the wedding speeches extremely short and delivered off-the-cuff, they were meant to be serious and touching, bringing tears to the eyes of the women and teary-eyed smiles to the lips of the men.In today's wedding speeches, its often expected that there will be at least one humorous antidote given per speech and if the speech giver fails to provide some humor in his or her speech, its generally thought of as not as good as those speeches that made everyone in the audience roar with laughter.
Naturally, the presence or absence of humor in wedding speeches is, or at least should be, a personal preference and should be kept in relation to the speech givers personality. If, for instance, the mother of the bride is and has always been a very serious and straightforward person, then supplying humor in a speech she delivers will only serve to make her look and feel ridiculous.
The speech giver should always at least take a hand in writing his or her own speech, so as to give the speech a personal touch. Never allow someone else to write your speech without at least proofreading it or perhaps inserting some of your own attitude and personality in the speech.
As far as who gives wedding speeches, these days quite a few participants in the wedding party will be expected to provide a speech at the wedding reception. The speeches should be given early in the reception for several reasons, not the least of which is that the speech givers are usually nervous and usually prefer to get this part of the ceremony over and done with.
Also, as alcoholic beverages are served at most wedding receptions, its always a good idea to get the speeches out of the way before too much alcohol is consumed. The usual order for wedding speeches is as follows: Best Man (this toast should be done before food service all other toasts and speeches may be done during dinner, as courses are being served, in between courses, or after dinner), grooms parents, brides parents, maid of honor, groom, and bride.
If there are others who wish to toast or wish to make a speech, or if any others have been asked to do so, the proper order is to toast or speak after the bride has finished.
Perfect wedding speeches are not hard to produce with the proper content and advanced planning.
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